Isabel Hope

My sweet sister Natalie gave birth to her stillborn daughter, Isabel Hope, on May 9th, 2008. The heart-break at the loss of Isabel is tremendous. I become speechless in moments like this, but I was there to support Natalie in her time of sorrow. Whether the right words came to me - or any at all - I am not sure. The sadness clouded my mind (and still does). The least I could do was be there for Natalie at Isabel's burial. I flew out to Utah on Tuesday, 5/13. Mom, Emily, Severin, Helene and I drove down to Natalie and John's family cabin near Capitol Reef National Park. Isabel was buried on a beautiful hilltop with expansive views of the ranchlands and rolling hills of the small town of Lyman.

Tumbleweeds rolled through the parking lot of the church as we drove in a silent procession to the hilltop where Isabel resides today. An impressive windstorm swept through the town after the burial. A friendly kitten that no one had ever seen before greeting and purred for every one at the cabin. A family of great horned owls nested in the trees on the front yard. Camoflauged statues with great yellow eyes that gave them away. Everett, Alton, Severin and Helen - carefree cousins - all played together, making the most of the time.

I looked for signs of Isabel in everything around me. And I found signs of her in everything. The beauty of a fragile song bird in the tree. The wisdom and grace of the owls. The drama of the dust, spinning and dancing in the hills. The freedom and innocence of my nephews and niece playing in the yard. Natalie's beautiful face. Although I grieve that I never got to know her, I don't think I'm missing out on her presence.

So despite the loss of her life, I am happy to welcome her as my newest, and very much loved, niece.